Valentines Day soliloquies

February is that time of the year when many people young and old spend audacious amount of time and money on pleasing ( or is it appeasing ) their respective valentines. So when Valentines day cropped up this year, I made the suggestion that the cousins on the WhatsApp Group share their recollections and let everybody else know as to how in this hybrid world of arranged and love marriages, they came to meet their significant other.  My request was met with blank response with nobody ever giving an inclination of acquiescing to my request. However on valentines day, I was pleasantly surprised when almost all of my cousins posted their stories, which spurred me to recollect our own .Most married people I am sure would wince on doing a recollection , as it exposes their utter naivety, they were basking in , those days . I am certainly no exception.

To start , for those who came in late, I am happily married to Shilpa .Ours being  a long winding story , I will try my best to keep it short.

It all began when my dad , the matchmaker in this case, sent a Copy of my horoscope ( or is it a Horror-Scope?) to Shilpa’s parents along with my photograph. On being shown my handsome picture in a dark suit , so painstakingly shot at G K Vale for a princely sum, Shilpa apparently threw it aside stating that I was a “ Baldie” and certainly not worth her affections. The initial part thus ended in a brutal rejection, which I am not sure that I was worthy of. Of course Shilpa’s Parents maintained a diplomatic silence which in this world of an arranged matrimony, is indicative of unacceptability or rejection .

The Ill- fated Picture

 The Second part begins when my current sister in law, then applied for a job with an agency which was into selling credit cards for M/s. HDFC Bank.  I did not have ( and still do not have ) any business with HDFC Bank. My father, being a hard-core banker, having been baptised in Canara Bank, ensured that my pittance of a banking business with my pathetic pay was with the same bank where he worked .

My Sister in law  then came across my contact through the database which was given to her of potential customers. She called me on my Mobile phone when I was in the middle of a meeting sometime in October 2005. As was ( and still is ) my wont with all such calls , I gave her a stern communication of my total disinterest in the card she wanted to sell, and cut the call rather rudely.   ( my sister in law however maintains that I was very polite with her and not rude) .

Determined as she was ( which is  still  her distinguishing characteristic , I must say) ,she called me again and then switched her medium of communication to Konkani. This was a new game for me,  for while I was ( and still am ) pretty fluent in all cuss words in Konkani, those were not something you could use on an unknown woman with whom you just had one conversation. In any case she managed to convince me that I was better off with a HDFC credit card and offered to send the application form though a colleague of mine who incidentally  frequented  the same Dining Mess that she and her sister ( now my wife) patronised. 

Believe me folks, When HDFC Banks claims that they understand our world, They aren't Joking!

They aren't Joking

During the handing over of  the forms to my colleague, He apparently sang paeans in my name, creating an aura which even my alter ego failed to match.

The forms reached me the next day and I filled it up , most diligently not skipping any detail lest I should get another call from this lady. As instructed I also took a salary certificate certifying the pittance I was earning ( and still continue to earn ) and attached it with the form. I then sent it through the same colleague , who played cupid, so perfectly , by singing prose in poetry , complete with parataxis, about the two sisters. He then faithfully complied with the instructions and gave the forms to my now sister in law. 

What I had unwittingly done was to hand over my complete financial status to this lady who immediately saw the potential of a prospective match for her elder sister and promptly sent it to her mother,  my current Mother in law. She being a lady , Diminutive but strong willed , immediately jumped at the opportunity and made a beeline to Bangalore dragging my hapless father in law and then persuaded her elder daughter( now my wife) to give my profile a second look ( I am sure that she might now be regretting  this singular persuasion) explaining that a receding hairline in fact accentuated the personality and that I was indeed bald and beautiful.

Bald is Indeed Beautiful, isn't it?

Both of us were persuaded by our respective parents to meet atleast once . Having promised the folks back home that I would  be back in a short while ,I suggested to this lady , that we meet at Café Coffee Day. On a cold fateful winter evening of the 9^th of December, after the birds of feather and retired to roost, I arrived at the venue in Malleshwaram ahead of time in line with my punctual nature. To kill time till this lady arrived I decided to look through a roadside book shop and see if he had any interesting reads. One book that interested me in the motley collection ,  this vendor had was this book , rather suggestively titled “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by a gentleman called John Gray. I began bargaining with the vendor on  the price of the book and  then I heard a female voice asking the shopkeeper to reduce the price. When I turned around , Lo ! there was this  lady, Shilpa .  The Shopkeeper refused to reduce even a single paisa and I dropped all ideas of buying that  book . We then went to Coffee Day and spoke all about a very little of ourselves for over three hours.

As the Ad for Café Coffee Day sums it up , A lot can happen over a cup of Coffee.

A Lot? Monumental Lot  ! 

Soon after, I dropped her to the Paying Guest Accommodation where she was staying with her sister ( Her parents were staying in Chikamagalur). I apologised to her sister for being rude on the phone and she assured me that I was nothing of that sort.

This momentous meeting over a cup of Coffee made it to the wedding invitation which a very close friend of mine  created based on our story. 

The Wedding Invitation 

Shilpa was still not convinced, as she knew from my financial resume submitted for the credit card , that my earnings were marginally lesser than what she was earning. Her parents and her sister convinced her that I appeared to be a decent bloke and  that my net worth had a potential of appreciating in the future and that I was an asset worth considering.

God knows what she saw ( does He? Really?) and she decided to ahead and accept the proposal, and on 23^rd December her sister called me to convey the news that her elder sister had condescended to accept the alliance. My soon to be wifey left for Canada soon after.

The rest they say is history and we were married on the 16^th July 2006.

Happily Married!